


I'm Drunk and Your Cat is Cute

by BorrowedBlueBox



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Claude is very drunk, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd is Trying, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Shenanigans, Flirting, M/M, Modern Era, dimitri likes cheese, is this too many tags?, possible breaking and entering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27810274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BorrowedBlueBox/pseuds/BorrowedBlueBox
Summary: Based on the prompt: Claude drunk breaks into dimtri’s apartment to pet his cat. Dimitri tries helping a very drunk Claude.Dimitri comes home to find someone who is not his roommate Ashe, in his house with his cat. Drunk shenanigans ensue, some confessions.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	I'm Drunk and Your Cat is Cute

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WaffleChocobo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaffleChocobo/gifts).



> This is for the DimiClaude Gift exchange. I hope you enjoy it, Waffle!! <3
> 
> Thanks to Celina for helping! <3
> 
> Beta’d, however, if you see any mistakes please let me know and I’ll fix them right away.
> 
> Constructive criticism is accepted but please no negativity. Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem Three Houses. The only thing I own is a computer, internet connection, insomnia, and an account.

Dimitri arrived home from his job at nine o’clock in the night, just in time for a late dinner. He opened his unlocked apartment door, expecting the door to be locked and the living room’s lights to be off, but the door was unlocked, and the lights were on. 

“I don’t remember leaving those on. I could’ve sworn I locked the door.” Dimitri thought. Perhaps his roommate Ashe had left the door open on his way to his night job?

He looked around his feet for his cat, Stilton, who always greeted him when he came home. 

Stilton was a prissy cat, only liking Dimitri and none of his friends, despite Ashe being in love with the cat. Dimitri loved his shithead of a cat, though. Which was why he was suddenly concerned. 

“Stilton? Ashe, are you home still?” He called out to his empty apartment. 

“Shit!” Came a voice, that very much was not Ashe, and he heard a thud from near his balcony entrance in his bedroom. Stilton’s meow came from inside the room. 

Dimitri grabbed one of his umbrellas by the door and headed into the master bedroom. 

What greeted him was the sight of one of his neighbors on the floor, looking sheepish while Stilton was brushing up against the stranger’s leg and purring. 

“What are you doing in my apartment? You’re not Ashe.” Dimitri questioned the stranger who was now looking at Dimitri with a weird expression.

“I have no idea who Ashe is…” Said the stranger with a giggle. 

“Who are you and how did you get into my apartment?” Dimitri asked. 

“Uh I’m Claude, I’m drunk and I thought this was my apartment. I live on the floor above you. I got the floor wrong, y’know, because I’m drunk.” Claude rambled. 

Dimitri raised his eyes at Claude. 

“Wait, did you say Stilton? Is that this beauty’s name?” Claude asked and pet Stilton. 

“Yes.” Dimitri merely said, wondering how this was his life. 

“You named your cat after cheese?” Claude asked incredulously.

“Yeah. Wait, how did you know it was cheese? Most people don’t get that.” Dimitri said and put the umbrella down, opting to cross his short-sleeved arms across his chest, hoping that would send a message to not try Dimitri. 

“My grandfather liked cheese. I hated that cheese. Who wants mold in their cheese?” Claude explained as he tried to sit up.

Dimitri didn’t feel like he needed to tell the stranger, Claude, that he in fact loved Stilton cheese. It was not important right now. 

“Can I help you get back to your apartment, Claude?” Dimitri politely asked. 

“That’d be grand. Wait, how’d you know my name?” Claude gasped. 

“You told me it. Did you hit your head by any chance?” Dimitri asked and made his way to help the man up. 

“I don’t remember how I ended up on the floor. I’ll be honest, I am very drunk right now.” Claude informed Dimitri. 

“Okay let’s get you at least sitting up on the couch and I’ll grab you some water.” Dimitri said, his protective instincts kicking in. 

Dimitri hauled the shorter man to his feet and helped him walk into the living room, Stilton following behind the two men. 

Once Dimitri had settled Claude on the couch, Stilton in the dark-haired man’s lap, the blonde made his way into the kitchen to get a water bottle. He pulled out his phone and called his friend Mercedes who was an ER doctor. He explained the situation to Mercedes who said she would be right over, having just got off work. 

“Make sure you keep him awake. If he has had head trauma and he sleeps, it could be, well, bad.” Mercedes informed Dimitri. 

“I will. Thank you, Mercedes.” Dimitri said and hung up his phone. 

“Claude, I have some water and a doctor friend is coming to check you out.” Dimitri said as he stood awkwardly in front of the shorter man. 

“I want you to be checking me out, though.” Claude slurred quietly, but Dimitri heard it. 

“What?” He squeaked. 

“Nothing. What’s your name? I know Stilton’s, now I need to know yours.” Claude said. 

“It’s Dimitri. Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd.” Dimitri said and awkwardly held his hand out to Claude on auto pilot. 

Claude reached one of his hands up and shook Dimitri’s hand after which he made grabby hands for the water bottle. 

“Oh, of course.” Dimitri said to Claude’s silent question, handing the open water bottle to Claude. 

Once he had drank enough, he handed it back to Dimitri. 

“Thanks, Dimi. I’m going to nap.” Claude said as his eyes closed, and he slumped down a little into the couch. 

“No! You may have hit your head. I can’t let you sleep!” Dimitri said and slightly shook Claude. 

“Mean Dimi.” Claude mumbled and then opened his eyes. 

“How about I turn on some TV for you to focus on?” Dimitri said, pointedly ignoring the way his chest flared up inside when Claude called him ‘Dimi.’ 

Claude nodded his head and Dimitri got up to turn on the TV, putting the volume at a low level so it wouldn’t hurt Claude’s head. 

“That was something you do for drunk people, right?” Dimitri thought to himself. He didn’t usually have to do this when he took care of drunk Sylvain. That just required him to keep his friend from approaching people. That man was a flirt to anything that was human, sober or not in all honesty. 

“What are you thinking about, Dimi?” Claude asked and tapped Dimitri’s forehead. Dimitri didn’t realize how close Claude had gotten until just then. 

Dimitri was about to respond when there was a knock at the door and Mercedes’ voice floated through the door. 

“Oh, Dimitri, I’m sorry I took so long!” Mercedes said as Dimitri got off the couch. 

“Coming, Mercedes!” Dimitri acknowledged his friend. 

Mercedes looked over Claude and determined that he was most likely okay but to be safe, she and Dimitri should watch him. 

“That’s okay, Mercedes, you just got off a long shift. Go home, I’ll watch him and if I need you, I’ll call you.” Dimitri offered. 

After a few minutes of convincing Mercedes that the two would be fine, she left. 

The two stayed up for a while watching random movies and TV shows that were playing. Occasionally talking about what was happening on the TV. 

Dimitri didn’t remember falling asleep, but he definitely remembered waking up. A spike of fear and dread going down his spine as he recalled the previous night. He could see through the open blinds that it was early morning, a glance at his watch showed the time was four in the morning.

He turned and found Claude and Stilton curled up on the couch asleep. Once he checked that the other man was in fact still breathing, Dimitri got up to call Mercedes to let her know he had messed up.  
He waited until he was in the kitchen before hitting the call button. As the phone rang, he began pulling out some waffles and eggs to cook for the two. It was a little early for breakfast but food helped with hangovers, Dimitri figured Claude could use some food with how drunk the other man was. 

“Dimitri, is everything okay? It’s only been 8 hours since I saw you.” Mercedes’ sleep-filled voice answered through the phone. 

“Uh I must have fallen asleep and so did Claude. I’m sorry Mercedes. Will he be okay?” Dimitri said in a small voice, dread filling him again. 

“I’ll be over in 10 minutes. Wake him up and keep him awake, maybe give him some food.” Mercedes said. She hung up after Dimitri acknowledged her requests as he put the waffles into the toaster. 

“Uh, Claude? I need you to wake up. You weren’t supposed to fall asleep.” Dimitri said once he’d made his way into the living room, lightly shaking the other man. 

“Mmmf.” Claude grunted then shot up. 

“Where am I? Who are you?” Claude asked, making some space between him and Dimitri. 

“Oh uh, I’m Dimitri? Do you not remember?” Dimitri offered awkwardly. 

“Look, Dimitri, I’m sorry I don’t remember, I’m sure it was a great night. I, uh, should go though.” Claude rambled. 

“Wait, what? Oh Goddess no! We didn’t sleep together! I mean, we were on the couch together but not like that!” Dimitri blushed and stammered out. 

Claude turned his head to the side. 

“Aren’t you my neighbor?” Claude asked looking around the familiar floor plan of the apartment. 

“Uh yeah. You broke into my apartment last night to pet my cat, Stilton. You were really drunk. Like really, really drunk. You may have a concussion though? My friend Mercedes is coming over to check on you again like she did last night.” Dimitri explained to Claude who nodded as if he suddenly remembered everything from last night. He moved to sit back down on the couch again.

“Okay, this is certainly a new Drunk Claude experience.” Claude said, more to himself.

“Wait, you named your cat after cheese?” Claude asked for the second time since Dimitri had officially met him.

Dimitri let out a loud laugh, feeling the nerves disappear. 

“What are you laughing at?” Claude asked, squinting at Dimitri.

“Oh sorry. That’s just twice you’ve asked me that since you’ve broken into my apartment.” Dimitri said. 

“Is it really breaking and entering if I thought it was my apartment?” Claude asked.

“Wait you remember?” Dimitri said and turned his head to the side. 

“Huh? Oh, no. I’m just assuming that my drunk ass isn’t capable of breaking and entering.” Claude assured Dimitri. 

“Or at least, that’s what I want you to think, hot stuff.” He added confidently with a wink. 

The blonde turned bright red and was about to respond just as his apartment door opened and Mercedes walked in. 

“Oh good, he’s awake. How are you feeling, Claude?” Mercedes asked, completely oblivious to what was going on between the two men. 

“Who are you?” Claude asked, muttering something that sounded like, “Please don’t say girlfriend” to Dimitri’s ears. The blonde’s face got redder. Was he being hit on? He wondered.

“Oh hello. I’m Mercedes. Do you remember anything from last night?” She asked as she made her way towards Claude with a medical bag on her arm. 

“No, I do not, Mercedes. Let me rephrase that question. How do you know my name?” Claude asked. 

“Oh, this is my friend Mercedes. She’s an ER doctor. I called her last night when we thought you might have hit your head.” Dimitri explained and Mercedes nodded and held her hand out to Claude to shake. 

“Oh. Well I would’ve remembered if I had hit my head.” Claude said and shook her hand.

“But you can do your checks to make sure.” He added. 

The toaster dinged and Dimitri remembered the breakfast. 

“Oh that’s the waffles. I’ll go get them while you check Claude out.” Dimitri stammered and fled to the kitchen, ignoring Mercedes’ chuckle. 

Dimitri was busy making eggs when he heard footsteps coming towards the kitchen as well as someone leaving, followed by the click of the front door being closed.

“I suppose Claude went home?” Dimitri said to whom he thought was Mercedes. 

“Uh no, he never got your number so why would he leave yet?” Claude teased, causing Dimitri to jump a little. 

Dimitri turned to see Claude with a wide grin on his face. The blonde had only just met this man and yet was already falling hard and fast. 

“Really? I may or may not be falling hard and fast for you too.” Claude said, his grin widening. 

“Oh yeah, you said that out loud.” Claude confirmed Dimitri’s internal panic. 

“Want to stay for breakfast?” Dimitri asked after he had composed himself, turning towards the other man who was watching him. 

“I would love nothing more, Dimi.” Claude said and flashed the man a toothy grin. 

“You’re remembering last night, aren’t you?” Dimitri asked as he plated the food. 

“You’ve been so kind to me. How can I repay you?” Claude asked. 

“Oh you don’t need to repay me.” Dimitri hurriedly said. 

“How about a date?” Claude asked and Dimitri’s chest flared up again. 

“I think that can be arranged.” Dimitri said, trying for subtlety. 

“Good. Dinner tomorrow night? I’m going to need to go to my correct apartment and sleep for a bit after breakfast.” Claude informed the other man. 

“That works for me.” Dimitri said and the two sat down at the table in the kitchen. 

Dimitri and Claude got to talking about everything and anything, Claude giving Stilton little bites of egg occasionally. 

“I will see you tomorrow night.” Claude said. Dimitri nodded and bravely gave Claude a quick peck on the cheek. 

“You missed.” Claude grinned like the Cheshire cat and kissed Dimitri on the lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Follow me on twitter and tumblr:  
> Twitter: @bbbwritings  
> Tumblr: @borrowedblueboxswritings


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